BOOK ONE: STATUS QUO: Take two
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Gravity falls x legend of Korra x Portal x Long earth x Naruto. Gravity falls destroyed, everyone he knew is dead. Can Dipper and his new friend Cave Johnson take on the world of the Avatar? This story is a remake of my 'BOOK ONE: STATUS QUO' Story. This story is done with 'Deus Swiftblades' permission, all Paragon story elements belong to him not me
1. Chapter 1

**BOOK ONE: STATUS QUO: Take Two**

 **I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!**

 **AN: This story is a remake of my 'BOOK ONE: STATUS QUO' story, I am using elements of 'Deus Swiftblades' story with his permission, the concept of Paragons and their purpose all belong to him not me.**

…...

...Earth South-567435564354...

Ah...Gravity Falls...a picturesque town of summer fun and joy-

 **IF I'M GOING DOWN, I'M TAKING YOU ALL WITH ME!**

-When it's not being destroyed by Bill Cipher of course...

 **BOOM!**

...Earth North-788395733848347...

Pain, That's all he felt...pain, pain, and more pain. Dipper pines dragged himself from a smoking crater...Grunkle Stan, Mabel, his parents, soos, Wendy...gone...all of them...the entire town...just destroyed.

It was horrible...but what else could he have done? What Bill Cipher had been planning...it would have meant a fate worse then death for everyone. He did what he had to! He had to use that ritual to sacrifice the journals to kill bill! He had no choice! He had no choice! HE HAD NO CHOICE!

He repeated this mantra in his head like a mad man as he lumbered forward...only to finally collapse...and let sleep finally taking him...

poke. poke. poke.

-And then get poked by a stick? "Well, what do we have here?" Asked a curious 12-year old Cave Johnson as he prodded the strange kid his own age. "My, your in a sorry state." He picks up Dipper and hoists him over his shoulder.

"Well, fortunately for you one of my labs is right over-

 **BOOM!**

Cave watched curiously as yet another object fell from the sky and destroyed his lab...he shakes his head. Man...that's the fifth lab this week!...sorry buddy, but looks like you'll have to wait a while longer before being patched up." Said Cave as he walked back to one of his dads outposts...

...And thus there was no one around to bare witness to the lone figure that crawled out of the secondary crater...

Her every footstep seemed to cause the earth to crumble, the water in the air seemed to solidify and follow her every movement, her every frantic breath seemed to let out a small torrent of flames.

"D-dipper." Gasped Wendy as she finally collapsed from exhaustion.

...Spirit realm...

The Grandmaster spirit of the Paragons shuddered. "Sir, what's wrong?" Asked a spirit concerned. "I..don't know..."

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

**BOOK ONE: STATUS QUO: Take Two chapter 2**

 **I Own nothing!**

 **….3 YEARS LATER...**

Dipper could still barely believe his eyes...he was here...Republic City...The big Kumquat itself...and he was docking into it like it was no big deal! This was one of the greatest moments of his-

"Hey Dipper! Buddy! I could use a hand here!"

-and just like that the moment was over, as reality forcibly reminded him why he was in Republic city in the first place.

Dipper sighed as he walked off the leaky canoe (that immediately finished sinking) to help Cave finish packing his fliers.

His friendship with Cave had been...interesting. He had to admit that Cave was quiet possibly the most brilliant inventor the world has ever seen!

Which would be great...if he also wasn't the most incompetent, dangerous lunatic that the world had ever had the misfortune to spawn.

Not that he was a bad guy! Far from it! He had an almost sickening idealism about humanity, and genuinely wanted to make the world a better place...And considering how he was brought up...that was nothing short of miraculous...

however good intentions didn't exactly make up for the fact that he once somehow caused an island to sink just by jamming a fork into a toaster (and that didn't even make it into the top 100 crazy things he'd done!).

Still, he was a good friend...who was about to sucker punch the human race silly. "I still can't believe you actually found someone crazy enough to finance this." Said Dipper as he packed the last of the fliers up.

"Yep! That Varick is a swell guy! And all I had to do was convince all my fellow innovators to let him get first pick of who gets contracted!...oh and 117% of the ticket prices and merchandising rights...whatever that is."

"Yeah, sounds real 'swell'." Said dipper sarcastically. And then he noticed headline on the fliers-

 **CAVE JOHNSON & DIPPER PINES WORLD FAIR/SCIENCE EXPO./WONDER EMPORIUM EXTRAVAGANZA! (also there will be cake!)**

"Uh, Cave, why is my name on this?" Asked Dipper nervously.

Cave smiled. "SURPRISE! As if I wouldn't give you credit for this! All of the heaps of success both me, my fellow inventors, and the world is about to enjoy wouldn't have been possible without your common application skills!"

Dipper gives him a weird look. "You mean my common sense?"

"Yep! Why, without you I'd still be trying to force my portal gun to be a shower curtain!"

"Uh...wow...look, not to sound ungrateful but maybe it would be best if my name wasn't on this?"

"What? Why?" asked a confused Cave.

Dipper started to get uncomfortable. "Well, you know...in case the police come around...and arrest everybody...again."

Cave chuckled. "Dipper me chum. I know we've had many a shake up by the good old gestapo, but this time-"

"-will be different." Finished dipper. "No offense Cave, but that's what you said the last couple hundred times."

"True." Admitted Cave. "But I've never attempted anything remotely this big or over the top before have I?"

Dipper chuckled nervously. "Nope, you sure haven't...god help us all..."

"What was that?" asked Cave absentmindedly.

"Nothing!" Shouted Dipper quickly. "Look, all I'm saying is that it wouldn't hurt to have someone on the outside to bail you out...or failing that have a a get-away driver...like I always do."

Cave chuckled. "Dipper, buddy you worry too much! Regardless of what happens, everything will be fine. Or have you already forgotten my 'special' condition?"

Dipper groaned, like he could ever forget! "Look man, I keep telling you it's a mistake to keep relying on only that to get you out of every problem you face. You yourself admitted you don't fully understand how it works. Besides, don't forget that while it helps you; me not so much, if at all."

"Oh, yeah, that's right." Said a contemplative Cave. Then he gives a shrug and says: "Alright I'll try to alter you name off."

"Thank you." said an appreciative Dipper.

"Now enough Jibber-Jabber, to the Cave-mobile!" Cave quickly presses on a small capsule that quickly grows into an enormous hydrofoil. Which Cave quickly jumps in.

Dipper quickly steps away from the Vehicle. "Yeah, I'll pass. I'd like to stay within city limits and with all my limbs attached for once."

"Suit yourself." said Cave with a shrug. And away he went...through several buildings...in the wrong direction.

Dipper shook his head. After all these years it still amazed him not only how bad a driver Cave was but how bad his sense of direction was thought dipper to himself as he remembered the time cave tried to navigate a South pole restroom... and somehow ended up in a wardrobe in Ba-Sing-Sai.

Still, when all was said and done; Cave was a great friend and all the many adventures he'd had with him had really helped him through those dark times...after all these years he felt like he could finally put his past behind him...

...MEANWHILE...

Little did Dipper know... a huge part of said past was but one dock away from him...

Wendy Corduroy had just got off a boat and was calmly walking down the dock, and not just any dock but an L-shaped wedge dock that was adjacent to the one dipper was walking down.

Yes, both of them were mere seconds away from bumping into a glorious reunion of epic propor-

"Excuse me! Miss! Miss!" "Wha-" Said Wendy as she stopped walking and turned around to see a porter from the boat run toward her.

"Sorry miss, you forgot your bag."

"Oh, thanks dude!" Said Wendy appreciatively, oblivious to Dipper already walking off the docks behind her and out of sight.

Strangely enough...a few minutes later Dipper and Wendy couldn't shake the feeling that somewhere, somehow; Hundreds of people were now screaming in frustration...at them...

...

Oh, and Avatar Korra arrived that day too...but who cares...

…...  
TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

**BOOK ONE: STATUS QUO: Take Two. ch. 3**

 **I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!**

 **...**

"What do you mean she's gone?!" Asked Minato Uzumaki. The White Lotus sentry bowed apologetically. "Forgive us my Paragon." Minato groaned as he dismissed him.

I really don't need this right now. Thinks Minato to himself as he looked around the vast tundra that was the South Pole. He needed to get to Republic City! If his theory was correct, the 'second' Avatar...

"Hey dad! I built a snowman!" Minato ripped from his thoughts, turned to the voices direction, and laughed. Not too far away was a snow-Bikini model. In stunning detail, no less!

Ah yes, the last several years had been hard on both of them. But as long as Naruto was with him he'd-

 **CRASH!**

And then 12 year old Naruto gets hit by a car driven by a madman...

Minato just stood their gaping in stunned horror...up until a flyer smacks him in the face...

...5 minutes later in Republic City...

"Your not being oppressed!...your...your oppressing yourselves!" Shouted Korra desperately. The anti-bender crowd just looked at her like she was an idiot. "That makes no-

 **CRACK!**

 **GAH!**

 **MY LEG!**

Screamed the Equalist crowd as they were all run over by a maniac in a supped-up giant automobile-

"COME ONE, COME ALL! TO THE WORLD FAIR/SCIENCE EXPO./WONDER EMPORIUM EXTRAVAGANZA!" Shouted the crazy, oblivious 15 year old as he distributed flyers without paying any attention to where he was going.

"Okay...that happened." Said a confused Korra-

 **CRACK!**

-She was then immediately knocked off her polar bear by a flying blonde. "Is there a doctor in the house?" groaned a dazed Naruto...

...

Korra and Naruto traveled the city on Naga...mostly in silence. Korra had met his dad before, but they'd never actually meet before. Korra felt weird being around anyone who had anything to do with the Paragons...she wasn't ashamed to admit that she was terrified of them...especially after what they did to Avatar Aang...

Naruto was also silent...he'd like to say he was scared of being in a strange place far away from his dad...but mainly he just didn't know how to talk to a cute girl...

It just so happened that they strolled past a radio shop broadcasting loud for all to hear-

 **WOW! How was last nights game? Once again, the Ball Busters destroyed the opposition at the Pro-bending arena!**

"The Ball Busters!?" Shouted Korra and Naruto excitedly. And that's when they realized the first thing they had in common; a love of Pro-bending...more specifically a shared favoritism of the Ball Busters.

Lead by Wendy Corduroy, this group went from zeros to hero's three years ago! They were infamous for not only being the first (and so far only) female pro-bender to exercise the option of girl competitors being allowed to aim for the groin...but also more or less using it as her signature move!...needless to say nowadays most teams tended to forfeit when they learned they were going up against them.

They slaughtered the Ba-sing-sai championship, the Omashu championship, the North pole championship, the South pole championship, even all 47 of the Fire Nation championships! Now all that remained was the United Republic championship, and then on to conquer the world...championship.

With this new common ground discovered, the two couldn't stop talking to each other. "Wouldn't it be great if we got to see one of their matches LIVE?" Asked Korra in wonder. "Yeah! Maybe we could actually met Wendy!" Shouts Naruto excitedly.

Korra chuckles as she ruffles his hair. "Yeah...something tells me were not THAT lucky."

 **CRASH!**

"Don't make me and my associates angry! You don't got the money! Then you don't got working legs! It's that simple!" Shouts the Triad thug to the frightened shopkeeper.

Korra quickly prepared for action. "Naruto! Quick, go hide!" "What, no way! I don't let girls get hurt! It goes against my Nindo! Dattebayo!"

Korra glares at him. "Naruto, I don't have time for any macho-

IT'S THE AVATAR!

They both stop their argument and turn around just in time to see a hooded figure take down the Triad with three separate elements!

Korra gaped. Naruto looked back and forth between the two confused. "Uh...Korra? Your here, right now...right?"

Naruto's odd question knocked Korra's brain back into action! "This must be that vigilante second Avatar!" She shouts suddenly. She'd lost count of the number of times that Tenzin, Minato or one of the other Paragons had come bursting into her room furiously questioning her about her whereabouts during a certain time. Eventually, Minato and Tenzin became convinced she was innocent, but the Other paragons just dismissed his theories...

Seeing that he'd incapacitated the Triad, Korra ran up to the vigilante. Seeing her, the vigilante made a run for it.

"Wait! Come back! I need to talk to you!" Shouts Korra as she rapidly bended several elements in quick succession to speed herself up.

Naruto followed her into the alley at a lightning pace. "You take the low road, I'll take the high road!" Shouted Naruto. Korra turned to him confused...and only got more confused...Naruto was running up the wall, and multiplying!...

...

The vigilante panted. "That was TOO close...I'll need to- Suddenly she was enveloped by an orange swarm. The vigilante tried to break free of all the Narutos-

 **RIP!**

Korra and Naruto gaped as the hood was ripped off, "WENDY CORDUROY!?" They both shout.

Wendy sighed. "Frack my life..."

...…...  
TO BE CONTINUED?

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	4. Chapter 4

**Book One: Status Quo: Take two: chapter 4**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...…...

 **CRASH!**

"Watch where your going you maniac!" Shouted Wendy after nearly getting hit by the crazy 15 year old who nearly ran her over.

...although in his defense, she'd been running in the street...away from her biggest fans-

"Hey hold up! We want to talk to you!" Shouts Korra as she finally catches up after chasing her for 5 blocks.

"And an autograph!" Shouts an excited Naruto, earning a weird look from both girls.

Wendy groaned in defeat as she sat down an an abandoned crate. "Look...I'm just going to cut to the chase...what's it going to take to get the two of you stay quiet about this?"

Korra looked at her confused. "What, why wouldn't you want people to know about this? Your an AVATAR! Just like me!" She emphasizes this by juggling two different elements. "How is that even possible!?" She shouts again excited.

Wendy just looks at her in disbelief. "Your the ava- She slaps her forehead. "Of COURSE your the avatar...6 billion people on the planet and I run into the avatar- What's next? The paragons?!" She snaps in sarcastic irritation.

"Uh...well, my FATHER is a paragon- Says Naruto awkwardly.

Wendy just stares at them dumbstruck...she then takes a deep calming breath. "Look...just don't tell anyone. The last thing I need is for people to pressure me to get back into the hero business."

Now it was Korra's turn to be dumbfounded. "What? Back into- You were- When were- Wait, why WOULDN'T you want to be a hero?"

"I never wanted to be a hero! That was Dipper's dream, not mine! He worked his but off to protect my home from monsters, spooks, and demons on a weekly basis- I LOST COUNT OF THE TIMES WE NEARLY DIED! And how was he repaid!? The whole town branding him as a looney and a nuisance! He had rocks thrown at him! Rocks! His own parents tried to have him committed to the loony bin! His great uncle had to intervene! But I was worse! The day before he, his family, MY family, THE WHOLE TOWN DIED! I- I turned him down- I turned the best thing that ever happened to me because of a stupid age gap! The last non-life or death related thing I said to him was 'let's just be friends'! Now the man I loved and everyone I loved is dead! I'm stuck in another world- AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE I PLAYED HERO!"

Wendy burst out into hysterical sobs...while Korra and Naruto just stared at her in uncomfortable, awkward silence...neither knew what to say...

Suddenly Wendy realized something. "Wait...why did I just tell you guys all that? I've NEVER told that to anyone this- Especially not to two strangers I just meet!" She exclaims genuinely confused.

"Uh...I think I have an idea." States Naruto awkwardly as he points to the crate Wendy was sitting on. Wendy looked at the broken crate that had fallen off the car of the maniac-

 **APERTURE SCIENCE: BRAND TRUTH GAS**

Wendy screamed into her hat in frustration. Then grumpily turns to the other two. "Well, you might as well help me get to my apartment now." She said miserably...

Naruto nods. Okay...I gotta say I feel bad for you Wendy- Your situation reminds me of when my mom was murdered by the metal men-

Naruto quickly covered his mouth, realizing the gas was affecting him too.

Wendy glared. "Oh, no. If I'm spilling my guts, you have to do it to!" She snarls...

Korra just looked at all this bewildered...suddenly waiting patiently at the South pole for Tenzin didn't seem so bad anymore...

...

Truly, the universe was a strange place. For not but a block away, in that same district, walking toward the currently very melancholy Group...

Was a very oblivious Dipper! Yes, I think it's on the cards this time. Their going to meet! Juuuust a littttle bit mor-

GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!

Shouts a homeless man jumping out the nearby alley. Dipper doesn't even blink, he whips out his shrink-gauntlet and shrinks the mugger down to size- By the time Dipper disposes of the mugger and continues to his destination... Wendy is already gone...

Once again both Wendy and Dipper find themselves with the strangest feeling of a hundreds of people yelling in frustration...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: the universe they came from was itself an AU where Dipper grew up in Gravity falls...and he got even less respect then cannon.**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	5. Chapter 5

BOOK ONE: STATUS QUO: Take two ch. 5

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...…...

...Many Years ago in the village Hidden in the leaves...

A happy 5 year old Naruto ate ramen on the park bench with his mother Kushina Uzumaki. She stopped eating and turned to her son. "Don't forget sweetie, I love-

 **SQUICK!**

Kushina's eyes went wide as a long metal blade pierced her heart from behind. "MOMMY!" Screamed a horrified Naruto, he turned to the assailant...and wet himself...before him stood men...men made of the coldest of metal, who's eyes glowed like red-hot coals...and clicked like a clock with each step they took...

...

"Wow..." Said an amazed Korra. Naruto nodded sadly, as he brushed aside a tear. "It's kind of a blur after that...they threw me in a sack...next thing I know I'm on a boat...and their carving symbols on my belly...he lifts up his shirt revealing a bunch of runes and sigils...

...

Naruto screamed in pain as they continued to carve into his belly. "Hold him still!" Shouts a cloaked man to the metal man as he begins to weave his magic over the carvings...

...Not too far away...

Some girls were enjoying their time in the hot spring...when Jiyra; Naruto's grandfather...fell into the water dead as a door nail...

...Not too far away from that...

"Tusunda-sama! Wake up!" Screamed Shizune frantically as she tried to wake up Naruto's grandma...TonTon whined...she could sense her master was dead...

...

Minato Uzumaki ran toward where his son's trail took him...for a brief moment...he felt his heart trying to explode...but then it stopped...

...

"Your family died!?" Shouted a horrified Wendy. Naruto nodded sadly. "Yeah, apparently, it was some kinda curse they put on me...it killed all my relatives...except Dad...to this day we don't know why."

Then Naruto smiled. "At that point my dad showed up and kicked ass and took names!" Shouted Naruto excitedly-

...

 **BOOM!**

Minato broke into the boat. The metal men tried to slice him. But Minato was too quick! One of the metal men tried to swing at him, but Minato just dodged and smashed off half it's limbs leaving it to scuttle uselessly...

The other one swung it's bladed arm as well, but Minato just grabbed it and smashed off it's leg while it was distracted. While it tried to balance on one leg, Minato smashed off it's head.

Minato then angrily knocked over four chairs to get to the cloaked man, his face full of murderous intent-

"No, please! I won't tell him anything! Don't do it!" Shouts the man...at thin air?

Minato is broken from his thoughts of vengeance, and looked at him confused. "Who are you-

 **BOOM!**

The man's head exploded...

...

At that point Nauto was getting tired, and they were close to Wendy's apartment...so they decided to call it a night, and finish the story tomorrow. Not having any place for themselves to go...Wendy offered to let them stay the night...

...Meanwhile...

Lin Beifong rubbed her face with annoyance. First, their was that maniac that was demolishing buildings with his car and spewing illegible flier's(it looked like he tried to alter something at the last minute but ended up just screwing up all the text on it instead). And now this...

"Now your sure BOTH these people used multiple elements?" "Yes!" Shouted the bystander! "Yes they did! I swear!"

Lin groaned, the evidence found also supported this...well, there was really no way around it then. Lin looked over at her assistant. "Get Tenzin and Minato on the phone...I'm fairly certain we've found the second Avatar...and Naruto..."

...Later that night...

"-And so it came to pass. That night while the citizens did sleep. Strange people, machines, and creatures did come to creep...

For too long these crackpots, fringe scientists, and witch doctors had been the butt of every joke...

But now they've been given what they need to grab destiny by the throat!

Come tomorrow they will cause such a clatter, that all will come to see what's the matter!

And what did Dipper the good friend of Cave Johnson whisper with ever increasing fright?...

..."You've had a good a good run Republic city, so to all: have one last peaceful night..."

…..."Ummmm ...I was kind of hopping for a more uplifting end to this poem-

"That's the best your gonna get from me Cave, deal with it."

"Oh, very well..."

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	6. Chapter 6

BOOK ONE: STATUS QUO chapter 6

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Chief Lin had FINALLY dragged her sorry butt to bed when-

 **BANG!**

"CHIEF! COME QUICK! THE TOWNS GONE CRAZY!" Shouted an officer running into her room. Lin groaned. "It's too fracking early..." She bumbled outside and beheld:

A human kazoo playing a kazoo, a bunch of people racing a bunch of edible cup-cake carts, people pretending to be statues, weird black-and-white people pretending to be trapped in invisible boxes, barbers singing in four's, a man playing a tuba that spews fire and bubbles, a strange vehicle that gets around on two giant rotating springs, magic carpet salesman(by which I mean a sentient magic carpet that sells non-sentient magic carpets), an anthropomorphic tambourine that was constantly gleefully smacking its self in the face, and so much more!...

It amazed the officers how quickly many of the chiefs hairs went white...

…...

"And thus water becomes food!" Shouted Flintlock Wood as his FLDSMDFR created Varrick cakes before a cheering crowds...

…...

BOOM! A house popped into existence. Professor Briefs smiled as he continued to demonstrate his capsule tech. Before a stunned audience...

…...

Hey! Shouted Candace Flyn. "I told you; either get in line or get lost buddy!" "Come on love, I'm just trying to make a few extra yen!" Pleaded a cloaked and masked street performer. "Don't make me bust you!" Shouted Candace as she pulled out her baton. "I'm going! I'm going!" Shouted the performer. Candace smiled then went back to work, "alright you bums! Let's keep the line moving!"

The line in question was to Phineas and Ferb's, 'Name it and will invent for 100$!.' The boys would rather have done it for free, but Phineas's manager/girlfriend had insisted. Said girl meanwhile, was setting up a fireside recruitment drive next door to finally start up chapters outside of their hometown!...

…...

"WORLD FAIR/SCIENCE EXPO./WONDER EMPORIUM EXTRAVAGANZA?" Read out Korra out-loud. "Hey isn't that what that crazy guy who nearly ran us over was screaming out yesterday?" Asked Wendy. "Hey guys! Check this out! The candy here is crazy!" Shouts Naruto as he eats a Wonka-bar given out by a strange man in a purple coat and top hat.

The two older girls look at each other. Shrug and help themselves to a bertie box every flavor beans...which they regretted immediately once they both respectively ate a underwear flavored and pepper flavor...

...

"Discount Genie! Get your discount genie!" Exclaimed Dr. Facilier, as he sold magic lamps secretly filled with malevolent or defective genies. Dr. Facilier chuckled to himself at how easily that cave boy was manipulated to finance his Djinni-ology experiments...

…...

"Welcome to transformation central!" Shouted Sander Cohen. "Where the age long Question: dose art imitate life or life imitate art is thrown out the window of irrelevance! Cohen quickly demonstrated how his special gene tonics could alter skin color, height, weight, muscle mass, intellect, perception, and luck.

The people were nearly in a frenzy, and he was only half-way through the demonstration! Cohen smiled, "remain calm everyone, there's plenty of free samples for everyone!"

Hearing this, the mob finally lost it and started looting the tent and beating the assistants. "Yes! Yes!" Shouted Cohen as he took picture after picture of the riot. "Give me more PATHOS!..."

…...

"Come one! Come all!" Shouted the midget named Professor Plankton. "Buy my various technological odd's and ends!"

Plankton smiled as the money piled up. "How do you like me now crabs!?" Shouted plankton at the heavyset businessmen in the booth across from his.

Mr. Crabs grumbled under his breath. How he cursed the day that cave boy came to town and convinced Plankton to give up fast-food and focus on inventing! Since then Plankton's been making 100 times more money then him!

True, the kid had been nice enough to invite him here to introduce the concept of "burgers" to the world. And yes he'd made more money in the last 5 hours then the last ten years combined(and they'd been good years too!)! But he wasn't making even half the money he should!

And that blasted Ron stoppable and girlfriend Kim certainly weren't helping matters! Curse their new-fangled drive-through's, and hot dogs, corn dogs, nacho's, taco's, fries , cotton candy, ice cream, and chocolate! What kind of names were those Any way!?...

…...

Minato couldn't believe what he was seeing! When he followed the barely legible instructions on the flier...he hadn't been expecting this! He was no expert but he was fairly certain that technology hundreds of years ahead of it's time was being displayed here! This could be a disaster! How- _No, Minato. Focus! Find your son first! Then deal with everything else!_ Rationalized Minato as he walked past a blast-ended skrewt pet stand.

...

"But seriously though folks, my family has never wanted for anything. Except for my uncle hot-plate whose wanted for petty theft in the fire nation!" Exclaimed the masked and cloaked performer as he entertained the audience, while madam foster passed out her diet pills.

"Now remember, by becoming my sellers you will get 50% off on all future pill subscriptions, and all I ask is that you give me 10% of all sales concerning my beautiful adipose!" spoke madame foster as she pointed to the adorable little creatures that were the result of Foster's pills converting body fat into cute, sentient living creatures.

"YEAH! I'm going to be rich!" Shouted a morbidly obese man as he swallowed the a whole jar's worth of pill's, and within seconds turned into a handsome thin man surrounded by hundred of adipose!

"Buffets on me, you little cuties!" Shouted the man as he petted the beauties...

…...

"And so you see, through the power of quantum suicide we have controlled the probability of this coin, forcing it to land on it's side 122 times!" exclaimed the Lutece twins to an astonished crowd.

"Golly, that's interesting!" exclaimed one of spectators. "But how is it useful to everyday life?" "Oh, that's simple, well...uh...you see"...Robert sighed as he turned to Rosalind. "Sister, we may not have thought this all the way through"...

…...

"Behold the smell-o-scope!" Exclaimed professor Farnsworth...

…...

"Voodoo economist counseling!" Cried Tia Dalma. "Control your economic future with astrological chart readings! Ethereal elixirs! And spiritual medium-ism."

A passerby chuckled. "Yeah, and I bet the tooth fairy's here too for exchange rates?!" Mocked the man before being zapped into a rat. Needless to say business picked up after that...

…...

Angry scientist cackled, "behold my sheep powered...laundromat!..."

…...

"Behold my techno-trousers!" Shouted Wallace...right before the trousers ran amok...

…...

Ex-Colonel sanders smiled as the people enjoyed his ultimate genetic masterpiece...the chicken.

Sanders counted his money with a smile, at this rate he'll have more than enough to purchase that T-rex genome. And then he'll be the king of the fast food world! Cackled Sanders at he looked lovingly at the blueprints for his Dino-chickens, with their Dino-sized drumsticks.

"This outta show that hippie psychoanalyst...drum me out of the army will he?...have an unstable mental state do I? Well I'll show him...I'll show them all!" Laughed sanders maniacally...

…...

Dipper pines wandered the city. "Well, 7 hours in and the city is still standing...a new record". Said Dipper impressed. Still...he'd better get to Cave soon to try and once again convince him to not push his luck with his 'demonstration' and get thrown in jail...again.

Arrrgh! Why did he have to be so mysterious about where to meet him!? Was it too much to ask- "Oh, hey my shoe's untied". Noted Dipper, as he bent down to deal with it...Just as a certain red head was walking nearby...

"Seriously? The Shinobi nation is completely inaccessible to the rest of the world?" Asked Korra. Naruto nodded. "Yeah, there's like a never ending storm keeping people away from it or something. To this day we don't really know how my moms killers got past it. When my dad tried to mess with their ships equipment...we somehow ended up in the fire nation, the ship was smashed to bits, we had no idea where we were, no one could understand the shinobi language...it was a nightmare. Worse, we had no idea how to get back home! We still don't know how to get passed the storm!" Admitted Naruto depressed.

Korra put a comforting arm on his shoulder as they walked out of the clearing...just as Dipper finished tying his shoe...

…...

"Come on, come on, it's a simple spot check. It's not that- Wha? Are you kidding me? Are you blind?! He was 5 feet from you! You just-GRRRRR!" "Who are you talking to?" asked one nerd to another.

"My character sheets suck!" Shouted the nerd as he munched on cotton candy from Ron Stoppable's store.

…...

 **AN: Well it looks like caves extravaganza is going great...for now.**

 **I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a REVIEW today!**


	7. Chapter 7

**BOOK ONE: STATUS QUO: Take two ch. 7**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

"Asami! Be careful!" Shouted Hiroshi sato as they drove through traffic. Asami sighed. "Dad either take the wheel for yourself or accept the fact that with all the commotion. I'm going to have to do a lot of risky movements to get around!"

Hiroshi groaned. "I know, I know, I'm sorry...this has just been a rough day for me"... Hiroshi was still irritated with how this whole event had come completely out of left field!

Despite Varrick having beat him on international concerns, his company still was #1 in Republic city! But today! It was just one scientific miracle after another! And all of their creators had already agreed to give varrick first pick of their contracts! It was a nightmare!

There was still one hope though. According to that nice man Oscar who ran that "bottled water" stand, the person who organized this whole event...some guy named Cave Johnson was the one who brokered the deal with Varrick...If he could find this..."Cave" fellow...Maybe, just maybe he could convince him to reverse the deal and sign the inventors over to him!

Unfortunately, this Cave guy...Whoever he was, seemed to have no organizational skills whatsoever! All the stands, exhibits, rides, and attractions seem to have just been scattered about in a completely random fashion...there were a couple placed on top of buildings and trees for crying out loud!

Not to mention the maps given out at the info booths seem to have been written on Easter eggs...which were very hard to read. Even harder to do so when a sudden stop caused the egg to fly out of his hand. "Sorry dad!" Shouted Asami. Hiroshi groaned...this just wasn't his day.

…...

Wendy had egg on her face...as in an egg just up and splattered on her face. Wendy groused in annoyance as she told her friends to wait up as she went to a nearby restroom to wash up.

Naruto and Korra waited outside patiently as they took in the spectacle of the expo...like watching in amazement as a boy with a pine tree hat bought a thneed from a man and a weird small orange creature.

"Yeah, my family was REALLY pushing me to ramp up Thneed production and chop down the Lorax's forest...thankfully, Cave showed up just in time with his 'plant rejuvenation' formulae. Which can regenerate trees completely! No matter how many times you chop it!" The Once-ler chuckled. "I was able to make this years entire quota WITHOUT depleting the Truffula tree supply!"

"To be clear, I'm still not completely thrilled by this...but I guess it's better then the alternative." Admitted the Lorax with a shrug.

 _"He has a formula that can regenerate anything...and he gives it's secret to two random guys to re-grow ONE type of tree...yep, that's Cave."_ Thought Dipper with a sigh as he gave the two a smile... while trying to figure out how they could recoup enough money from this blunder to not starve...

Dipper then left...just as Wendy came out of the washroom...

…...

'Wha? Fail! Weak Fail! Weak sauce! Stupid spot check!" Shouted the nerd. "Uh...dude we haven't started yet"...said another nerd...

…...

Minato eats some 'iced Cream' as he continues to show a picture of Naruto around...While ridding a electronically weaved flying carpet made by a Prof. Nimnul...

...

"So you have artificial lightning and an earthquake machine?!" Asked one detective excitedly.

"Among other things, yes". Stated Nikola Tesla. "I'd never get any of it off the ground without young Johnson". "What else can you tell us about this Cave Johnson?" Asked Lin. "Well, he helped finance my inventions, proved my former mentor Edison was stealing my inventions- The man even tortured an elephant to death to discredit me! Seriously, who dose that?"

"-I don't know". Said Lin flatly, "but if we could get back on topic"-

Suddenly, Lin and everyone in the city had the uncontrollable urge to stop what their doing, break into spontaneous choreography, and sing!

…...

 **Welcome to the future, all you forward-thinking socialites,  
Delightful world of steam so bright,  
Change your life overnight,**

Lin tried to move her arms and legs...but couldn't! Every fiber of her body refused her and danced it's own thing!

 **Behold this lady's hairbrush, this motor-powered cow,  
If you don't know how this gizmo works, I'll try to show you how. **

Minato gasped as the words for a song he didn't know were forcibly sent to his brain and out his windpipe...

I **t's robotic kitchens, prototypes, a singing kettle,  
You'll love this nut and turtle sheller made of living metal,  
You'll never need to settle for yesterday's future,  
We've borrowed from tomorrow, steam power, it's so super! **

… **...**

Naruto and Korra were frightened! They felt like prisoners in their own bodies! Wendy was also feeling trapped, she could do nothing as she was forced to cartwheel...toward an equally helpless and dancing Dipper!

…...

Yes! You can't ignore each other this tim- wha- are you kidding me! (Bleep) you! And (bleep) your spot check!..."You do know I have no control over how the dice rolls right?" Said the other nerd.

…...

 _"What was that?"_ Thought a confused Dipper as a red blur went over his head... Meanwhile, Wendy was too dizzy and too busy retching- since the music wouldn't even let her vomit- while singing.

...

 **Welcome to a brave new world (My word!),  
The future is amazing, time for you to climb aboard!  
Welcome to a brand new day! (Hooray!)  
Everything will change! Time for me to show the** **way!**

" _Seriously, where is that music coming from!?"_ Was the thought of...well, everyone.

 ** _Step in closer, I've got so much to show you._**

 **A robotic rooster starts the morning,  
And a rocket-powered cycle takes you skyward and you're soaring  
'Til you fall towards a lovely picnic made of future food,  
Steam-powered sandwiches, useful speaking fruits. **

A lot of the words were gibberish to most...and yet they were forced to sing!

 **You are living in your prime, catching lightning in a jar,  
Robot butlers keep you tidy, no matter where you are,  
The future runs like clockwork and you'll never need to stress,  
You really can't afford it: That's the price of steam progress! **

**Welcome to a brave new world (My word!),  
The future is amazing, time for you to climb aboard!  
Welcome to a brand new day! (Hooray!)  
Everything will change! Time for me to show the way! **

… **...**

Dazed, exhausted and frightened... everyone looks around as they returned to normal. Wondering what had just happened...

"BRAVO! BRAVO!" Shouted a loud voice. Everyone looked up and watched as a 15 year old on top of a large building clapping away a strange pharmacist holding a stranger device.

"LET'S ALL GIVE A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO DR. HEINZ DOOFENSMIRTZ! HIS CHOREOGRAPHY-INATOR IS BUT ONE OF MANY INATORS HE IS DEMONSTRATING AT HIS GAZEBO!"

The boy then turns to look back down at the still stunned crowed. "GREETINGS! I'M CAVE JOHNSON! FOUNDER, CEO, AND HEAD SCIENTIST OF APERTURE SCIENCE!"

This causes a bit of a commotion down below; _"Him? Why he's just a child!"_ Thought Hiroshi. " _A teenage super genius...sure why not?"_ Thought Lin. _"Isn't he that maniac that nearly run us over yesterday?_ Thought Wendy, Korra and Naruto at the same time. _"Dang it Cave! That just freaks people out!"_ Thought Dipper. " _That's him! That's the maniac that ran over Naruto!"_ Thought Minato. " _Huh, he's younger then me."_ Thought a curious Asami.

Oblivious to the commotion, cave continues. "THIS IS A ONE HOUR WARNING! I REPEAT, ONE HOUR UNTIL I GIVE MY DEMONSTRATION AT THE MAIN GAZEEBO!"

Said cave right before he jumped off the building. Everyone screamed in panic...right before he landed on his feet completely unharmed! "ALSO DIPPER, I'D LIKE YOU TO BE THERE TOO!" Shouted Cave as his test-subject boots gave him a major jumping boost on his way.

Nearby, Wendy froze. "Did he just say- No, I'm hearing things". Asserted Wendy as she cleaned her ears...which of course made her miss Dipper as he rushed to the main gazebo...

…...

"AAARRRRRRRGGGGHHH!" screamed the nerd as he flipped the table. "A POX ON THEE SPOT CHECK!"..."Why don't we take a break?" Offered the other nerd.

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	8. Chapter 8

BOOK ONE: STATUS QUO: Take two ch. 8

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

COME ONE! COME ALL! Shouted Cave as everyone gathered around the main gazebo. Many were genuinely curious what this strange kid that all the other inventors talked up was like, many more just wanted to see whatever new crazy spectacle was about to be unveiled...others...were probably going to beat him up...oh, and a couple people were coming to see THAT of course.

Cave then noticed Dipper walking onto the stage and toward him. "Hey, buddy! Glad you could make it! I saved you a seat!" Said Cave as he pointed toward a folding chair on the stage he set up.

Dipper sighed as he once more tried to reason with Cave. "Look Cave, I'll admit this was a bigger success than I thought it would be"- "Thank you!" Shouted an excited Cave. "Yes, anyway. I'd also be lying if the whole 10 hours without blowing things up isn't great"- Easily beats my old record of 5 minutes!" Shouted the increasingly excited Cave.

Dipper decided to get right to the point. "Look Cave, I think you should call it a day before- "Hold it!" Shouted a voice interrupting Dipper. Both boys turned around and saw Lin and a large group of police heading to the stage.

Dipper sighs. _"And here we go."_ Thinks Dipper in a monotone manner, as he quickly brings out his briefcase. Cave groans; ordinarily the police wouldn't be too much of a problem- thanks to Dipper and his 'condition', he was usually out of trouble in a day or so- But this was really bad timing! He couldn't afford to go to jail before his presentation- The next great age of exploration and enlightenment depended on it!

Quickly his mind was frantic as the police got closer- " _Oh, they look so mad! How can I make them happy!? Puppies? Hats? Yo-yo's? mud? Chew toys? Gifts- Yes! That's it!"_

He quickly turned to Dipper and grabbed him. "Dipper! Quick! Remind me which one of my inventions you said could be a huge immediate help to law-enforcement!?" Dipper quickly told him.

Cave quickly ran and grabbed the box, and tossed the contents onto the surprised police. "Gifts! I give you gifts! Allow me to present you the 'OMNI-TOOL!'"

...

Naruto and Korra watched amazed as Cave demonstrated the Omni-tool...how it could be worn on your wrist and could do all sorts of amazing things! With it you could talk to someone on the other side of the planet! You could send COLORED pictures to that person! Or record things around you and send it to that person! You could scan areas for in-depth data and send it to- again, that person! It was crazy!

"Wow...what a time to be alive." Said Naruto out loud. Korra smiled at him. "I know, right?" "What!? What is it? What's happened?" Asked a confused/annoyed Wendy as she tried to see past the six foot tall woman in front of her that wore a crazy feathered hat. Dang it! For the life of her she couldn't see ANYONE that was on the stage!

 _"This is incredible...this won't just revolutionize police work...but everything! I wonder- No! Lin_ _focus!_ " Lin Quickly shook the star's from her eyes as he got back to work. Lin waited for the applause to die down before walking onto the stage and toward Cave. "Yes, well I hate to break this up. But I'm going to have to ask you to come with me- This was meet with Boo's from the audience. Despite the situation Dipper smiled, " _well that worked out nicely."_ Thought Dipper to himself as he watched Cave look shocked.

"What!? Why?" shouted Cave baffled. "Didn't Varrick file all those "permit" thingies that prevent me getting arrested?" Lin raised an eyebrow at "thingies", but continued. "No, technically those are all in place...but all the property damage you caused driving around like a maniac isn't!" "Wha?- But that was yesterday!" Stated a confused Cave.

Lin looked at him with disbelief. "What dose that have to do with anything? It's still going to be as much rubble today as it was yesterday!" Before Cave could rebuke that. Dipper(against his better instincts) pipped up. "Uh, Cave? Remember that sometimes your "condition" delays itself a day if you haven't met the local authorities yet."

Lin gave the other boy a weird look. _"Condition?"_

Cave nods. "Oh...right...forget about that." Cave takes a deep breath, then turns to Lin. "Look, Mrs. Beifong...I've more or less planned this moment out for most of my short life...I have but 3 inventions left to demonstrate today...is there anyway you could delay my incarceration until after that? I'd be happy to handcuff myself to you now; if you so wish"...Lin gave Cave a long look.

She shook her head. "Sorry kid, I just can't do that- she ignores the boos behind her -You caused a LOT of damage and injury yesterday, I-

"Hold it right there!" Shouts Dipper suddenly, the look of devastation on Cave's being too much for him to stand. _"You owe me big time for this Cave."_ He thinks to himself as he hands her his attorney license. "I'm Cave's lawyer, anything you say must be said to me."

Lin looked at the license and at the 15 year-old baffled. "Wha- How- Your what, fifteen?" "Regardless of how old I am, my status as a lawyer is completely legit, I assure you." Naturally, Dipper left out how it was only legit on the loosest of technicalities. How he got it from a fifth-rate community college named Greendale...which was only still standing due to a bookkeeping snafu set up by the local mayor.

Lin shook her head. "Fine, whatever- You can come along." We'll gladly come along..as soon as we see the warrant for Cave's arrest." Stated Dipper. Lin was thrown by this...then groaned. This whole thing had happened so quickly, she hadn't had time to get the warrant written up...Lin frowned.

 _"Wait, what am I saying?...I had all of yesterday after reading his name on the the flyers!...so why didn't I- How could I have forgotten to do that!?"_ She thinks confused. Dipper nods. "I thought so...well don't worry, Cave will just stay here and finish his demonstration while you send someone to get it typed up. We will then gladly come with you without a fight-

"WORKS FOR ME!" Shouts Cave as he turns back to the crowd and announce the demonstration was back on, which was meet with thunderous applause

...

Naruto and Korra still couldn't believe their eyes! A hand-held device that creates...weird...'portals'?...anyway, they allowed people to go from one place to another instantaneously!

Meanwhile, Wendy was STILL trying to see SOMETHING through the sea of feathers in front of her...and failing...

And when he invited That delightful cloaked and masked street performer they'd meet earlier...they honestly didn't know what to expect...the fact that the grown man refereed to Cave as 'father' was especially baffling.

And then, he cast aside his cloak and mask...Naruto gasped along with everyone else...although for different reasons. Where once had been a simple street performer...now stood a man of metal...and one giant blue, flashing eye.

"It...it's just like the one's that killed my mom!" Exclaimed Naruto horrified. Korra looked at him concerned. "Wait...what dose that mean."

"I don't know...but I DEFINITELY have some questions for MR. Cave later..." Said a familiar voice behind them. "DAD!" Shouts Naruto excitedly as he ran up to give Minato a hug.

Minato smiled as he hugged his son...while also sending a shadow clone to stop a hastily retreating Wendy. "And I have plenty of questions for you too young lady."

"Dang it." Groaned Wendy. She groans louder when the large woman with the feathered hat FINALLY walked away. "Oh, sure- NOW you leave!" Wendy sighed, and resolved to at least see the rest of the show.

Apparently, Cave had moved on to the final demonstration...some sort of large box with a lot of wires sticking into it. It was at that moment she could see the WHOLE stage...mostly Wendy frowned. " _Huh, I didn't know there was someone else on the stage-_ She strains her eyes to get a better view. _-Who is that?"_

-And then the city disappeared.

...1 minutes later...

-And then it was back.

Dipper sighed...it had all been going so well. The portal gun demonstration without a hitch(that portal-gel sprayer attachment he recommended was a real step up!).

Lin was impressed...or he assumed she was since she allowed him to continue. Despite his objections...he'd be lying if Cave's showmanship wasn't amazing to watch!

Disguising Wheatley(the worlds first A.I...and also technically; it's first computer as well he supposed) as a masked and cloaked street performer to "work the crowd" so to speak. To smooth over the shock of the big reveal was a stroke of genius!

...and then they got to the 'Stepper Tech'...Dipper was still amazed how one little box could transport a person through an infinite number of seemingly uninhabited earth's; Or the "long earth" as Cave dubbed it.

...Now Dipper knew that for the full concept of what this meant to mankind to be understood. It would take a lot more then one person at a time being "stepped"...still he honestly thought Cave would be smart enough to realize that "stepping" the entire city to a new world and suspend it in midair above it!...Actually, now that he said it out loud that was exactly the sort of thing Cave would do...why would he think otherwise?...

Dipper had tried to stop Cave from activating the jumbo-sized stepper-box...but he'd been too late...at least the trip forward and back to their earth (or "earth Datum" as Cave called it) had caused the monstrosity to burn out and harmlessly implode...but that did nothing to quell the riot of panicky people that now swept the city!...

Cave looked at the commotion in disbelief. "Honestly, you'd think these people had never been on a floating island before." Dipper shook his head and groaned. "Cave remember that little chat I had with you about separating the things we've experienced from what "normal" people experience?"

Cave's eye's lit up..."Oh...right...my bad." Said Cave sheepishly. Right before Lin got over her shock, she the cuffed him, read him his rights dragged Cave to her patrol car.

Dipper sighed but got into the car with him...their police car was then followed by a police car containing Korra, Naruto and Wendy...who were too busy watching Minato spew out shadow clones to quell the riot to notice anything else...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	9. Chapter 9

**BOOK ONE: STATUS QUO: Take two ch. 9**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

"Careful with that!" Shouted Doofensmirtz as the police carted away his Inators. Fearing what any common criminal could do with any of the inventions shown at the fair. Lin immediately ordered all the inventions to be safeguarded during the ensuing riot and all inventors put in protective custody. They continued carting it...right past the room Wendy, Naruto, and Korra was in.

'Technically' Wendy wasn't under arrest...but Minato did insist she stay put until he helped restore order in the city...and alert the other Paragon to her existence...

Wendy groaned. "Typical...I FINALLY make a good life for myself...and then it all just falls apart...story of my life really..."

Korra tried to comfort her... "Wait- Come on Wendy, Maybe it won't be so bad-

"How? How do you know that Korra? How do you know that the paragons won't kill me like they wanted to Kill Aang?" She asked more then a little freaked out.

Korra winched, that was a sore subject... After the 100 year war had ended...There'd been the sore issue of the former Earth kingdom land that had been turned into fire nation colonies...Aang had just wanted to separate the nations again...that was his first mistake- Turns out forcibly separating people from their livelihood and families simply because of nationality without asking their consent leads to civil-unrest...who knew? If that wasn't bad enough; Aang's second big mistake- or first depending on how you look at it -of not killing Ozai came back to haunt him. With him still alive, his allies were able to use him as a rally point, throw Zuko's legitimacy into question and use the problems in the colonies to cause a fire-nation civil war...

Fortunately, the newest Paragons stepped up and put an end to the conflict, made peace between the fire nation and earth kingdom in a way that would lay the foundation for the eventual creation of Republic city.

Of course...it wasn't a total happy ending...at least not as far as Aang was concerned...as punishment for his incompetence the paragons were sorely tempted to kill him...but since that would also wipe out the air nation, they decided to just strip him of his bending and Avatar status...

Korra got chills from that story...the idea of losing her life or bending terrified her...Naruto tried to assure Wendy that he'd vouch for her...but it did little to raise Wendy's spirits...

 _"I wish you were here Dipper...You'd know what do do..."_ Thought a terrified Wendy as she began to cry...

...

Little did she know that on the opposite side of the wall, Dipper pines waited calmly(if a bit irritated by the dust in the air) for information about Cave.

Yep, two people separated by a paper-thin wall...with their luck it might as well be an ocean...

...

The nerd sighed as he stared at his game stat sheet. "Oh, well if they haven't noticed each other by now. Then they probably never will...what a waste! This game is a rip-off! I want my money ba-"

...

"Watch out!" Shouted Doof as one of the policeman accidentally dropped one of his Inators- ZAP! Went the choreography-inator! Suddenly, most of the police force started to break into song!

…...

 **Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moon light  
Someone's thinking of me, and loving me tonight**

… **...**

"Achoo!" Sneezed Dipper in his annoyingly cute kitten way, much to his annoyance... On the other side of the wall Wendy's ears perked up. "Wha-"

… **...**

 **( policemen (against their will) pull violins from evidence locker and play an Irish Didi)**

 **Somewhere out there, someone's saying a prayer  
That we'll find one another, in that big somewhere out there**

… **...**

"Achoo!" Sneezed Dipper yet again... Not able to believe her ears Wendy slowly turned around to look at the wall. " _T-that sneeze."_ Thought Wendy in disbelief...

… **...**

 **And even though I know how very far apart we are  
It helps to think we might be wishing, on the same bright star**

… **...**

"Achoo"! Sneezed Dipper a third- Next thing he knows the wall behind him crumples and he's looking into the face of someone he'd long thought dead.

"Wendy!?" Exclaimed Dipper in amazement. "D-dipper?" Asked a now very tearful Wendy.

…...

 **And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby  
It helps to think we're sleeping, underneath the same big sky**

… **...**

Not knowing what to say. The two friends; long separated, simply enjoyed a tearful embrace, overjoyed with being reunited at last. And Korra, Naruto and the police (under the influence of the Inator) looked on while applauding as they still sang.

… **...**

 **Somewhere out there, if love can see us through  
Then we'll be together, somewhere out there  
Out where dreams come true...**

… **...**

The nerd coughed as he hacked up a nasty hairball. "Right, sorry about that sudden interruption. What was I talking about?"

The other nerd smiled. "Actually, I believe the fat lady has sung." Confused, the first nerd looked at the game sheets again...And then erupted! "A sneeze!? Seriously!? That's what were going with!? That is the lamest- You know what!? Frak this! I'm going home!"

And with that, he stormed off! The other nerd glanced at his buddy. 'Explain to me why your friends with that weirdo?" The other guy looked at him confused. My friend? I thought he was yours!...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is 'Somewhere out there' from 'an American tale'**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	10. Chapter 10

**BOOK ONE: STATUS QUO: Take Two chapter 10**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

...a minute ago in Lin's office...

The police station was in panic! The city was in complete chaos! And in the middle of it all in Lin's office was the boy responsible for it all...Who didn't seem to take ANY of it serious! Infuriating both Lin and Minato to no end.

"Boy, I don't think you grasp how much trouble your in!" Snapped Lin in angered disbelief.

Cave just kept smiling serenely. "Look I get it, all the cops I've had to deal with go through the same thing when I first show up." Said Cave in- what he though was -a reassuring way. "Look, here's what usually happens: I spend the night in the slammer, but then everything's hunky dory in the morning, I'm let out, and we can all become great friends!" He exclaimed happily.

An impatient Minato slammed a hand on the desk so hard, it cracked a little. He was sick of this! Lin wouldn't allow him alone with Cave until this mess got sorted out, and he needed answers! "Kid! Look around you! Half the town is on fire! Thousands of people are being filled into the hospital dead or worse! I don't care how good a lawyer your friend is, You can't just wave a 'magic wand' over this mess and have it go away!"

Cave chuckled. "Actually, funny you should mention that-

It's at that point that they were interrupted by the sound of the rest of the police force singing! Lin groaned; _"note to self: Smash all those blasted inator-whatevers!"_

Lin, Naruto and Cave go outside just in time to see Wendy break down the wall and reunite with Dipper...

"What...what just happened here?" Asked a confused Lin.

Cave gives the scene a once over. "Now I'm not what you'd call "socially inclined"...but judging by the mood and theme of the music we just heard, and what little I know of dipper's former life- this is just a guess mind you...But I'd say that's Wendy Corduroy, Dipper's best friend back in the old days before his hometown blew up and he believed her dead...apparently she thought him dead as well." Cave couldn't help but gush a bit. "Well isn't that sweet? A happy reunion all around!"

"Yeah...happy"... Said Minato while in deep thought. _"The long lost friend of a 'second' avatar(who also happens to be the best friend of this "boy genius" !). just happens to find her on the same day we find her?...I have a bad feeling about this..."_

But in the meantime...he held back Lin from interfering...he recognized young love when he saw it...and despite the circumstances...he was loathe to snuff it out so quickly after it had clearly been reignited...heaven help him he missed Kushina...

Cave, oblivious to both adults inner-turmoil. Continues to enjoy the scene. "Ah, they look so happy!"

...

 _"Well...this is awkward."_ Thought a flustered and 'happy' Dipper to himself. It was so amazing to have Wendy back! Dipper didn't know how to put how great it is in words!

Everything was awesome!...Then his mind strayed to how good it felt to hug Wendy again...and things kinda went downhill from there...and now Dipper was desperately trying to think of a nice way to end the hug without anyone seeing his "excitement".

Thankfully, Wendy never seemed to notice this happening when he hugged her in the past. So he still had some time!

...

 _"Wow...he's really grown up..."_ Thought an equally embarrassed Wendy. As it turns out, she DID notice Dipper 'Enthusiasm' toward her whenever he hugged her in the past...

However, she never said anything. Lest she humiliate Poor Dipper. It helped that back when he was 12, the...uh... "problem" had been easy to pretend it wasn't happening...now it was proving almost impossible to NOT see it! Wendy was now desperately trying to figure out how to end the hug without both letting on she knew or letting the whole office see Dipper's 'excitement'!

...

Korra smiled at the scene before her... _"good for them!"_ She thinks to herself. She knew she was basically watching a classic romance come to life...and their was just something so enchanting about it...

...So naturally it was Naruto who first noticed their friends 'dilemma' and broke the illusion first-

Naruto impishly whispered the situation to Korra. And although Dipper was concealed from everyone else...

 _"Oh, wow...way to go Wendy!"_ Admitted a flustered Korra to herself impressed...and maybe a little bit jealous of Wendy.

"What do you say we cool them off?" Teased Naruto as he gestured to a nearby water cooler. Korra smirked and used her bending to tip-

 **SPLASH!**

 **GAH!**

Shouted both Wendy and Dipper annoyed as the cold water drenched them...while secretly being relieved that the 'problem' had now been dealt with.

While Korra and Naruto secretly gave each other a high-5, Lin decided to put her foot down and regain control of the situation: "Right, okay- Shows over! Mr. Pines, how exactly dose your 'client' tend to handle this cluster-frack of a situation?"

Dipper groaned as he rang out his hat, he turns to Cave. "Cave could you just handle this already?"

Cave looked at him surprised. "Wha- but I thought you preferred me to wait for it to occur 'naturally'?"

Dipper sighed, "Cave I'm soaked, I just met the woman I love that I'd long given up for dead- Wendy felt her heart nearly burst happily at that last line -, and the city is burning down...just do it, please." He implored.

Cave smiled. "Okey-dokey!" He then walked over to a nearby window.

"I'm sorry, what's happening here?" Asked Lin confused. "It'll be easier if you just see it happen." Explained Dipper.

"STATUS QUO!" Shouts Cave Johnson as he extended his hands out to the city- "WHAT THE!?" Shouted most of the department as twin rainbows burst from his hands and twirl around the town...everyone- Except a bored Dipper -could only watched amazed as the rainbows seemed to reverse everything...buildings rebuilt themselves...fires came undone...the injured were healed...it was as if someone had hit 'REWIND' on the world...

Dipper walked over to Lin. "Alright Chief Beifong, I believe were ready for legal discussions." Said Dipper with a practiced indifference of someone who's done this a hundred times...and fully expected to do it a thousand more...

Lin just stood their...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	11. Chapter 11

**BOOK ONE: STATUS QUO: Take Two chapter 11**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Lin takes a deep breath..."Okay...so you- She points to Cave -due to an accident caused by an experimental anti-bee bunyan cream you were developing...gained powers that reverse any negative consequences done by your decisions. And you- she points to Dipper -are not only his- somehow successful -12-year old lawyer, but you and you- points to Wendy -are from another UNIVERSE, and also happen to be a -supposedly impossible- SECOND Avatar...Am I understanding this all right?"

Cave thinks on this...then nods, "Yeah, that seems to be everything...although we would've been able to explain it faster had you not destroyed all of the Choreographinator's. "

Lin simply nods...in an oddly serene fashion...and takes a BIG drink of 'water'. "Alright...okay... okay...only one real way to respond to all this- GET THE #$ ^&^%^ ** OUT OF MY CITY!" She screamed.

Cave just looked slightly baffled, while Dipper and Wendy looked indignant. "Wait, what!?" They shouted. "You heard me, get out!" She demanded. "Wait, I get you kicking me and Cave out- Believe me I'm used to it -but why Wendy? She had NOTHING to do with this!" Exclaimed Dipper annoyed.

Lin shook her head, "Look kids, I have a responsibility to the people of this city to keep them safe, and THIS- she points to the whole lot of them(Korra and Naruto included) -is just a disaster waiting to happen. Is that fair?...honestly, I have no idea...this...this whole situation is completely...I don't even know how to respond to all this!" Shouted a very overwhelmed Lin suddenly.

Dipper sighed, "Okay, didn't want to have to point this out...but if you look at sub-section 2Q of the cities penal code...

As their conversation devolved into a legal-grudge match...Wendy tried to find a solution. She turned to Korra and Naruto, "Hey guys...think you could help us out here?" She asked desperately.

"Huh- Oh, sorry Wendy...were still kinda wrapping our minds around...all that." She explains pointing at the city that USED to be a smoldering wreck...but was now back to 'normal' and just full of confused and frightened people- who looked like they wanted to panic...but SOMETHING was stopping them...which only made them freak out MORE...quite the vicious cycle.

Wendy just shook her head and turned to the now screaming at each other over legalities, "What if I promised to leave AFTER the tournament was over? Would that be alright?"

"NO! I don't want you in this city! I'm going to have enough on my plate calming people down to be watching over you lot!"

"Then don't, I will." Everyone turned around in surprise to Minato who'd been quiet for awhile. Lin looked at him baffled, "Excuse me?" Asked Lin in Disbelief.

"You heard me...I'll keep an eye on this bunch." He quickly eye'd Cave...the boy would've been too young to have built the robots that killed his wife...but maybe he knew something? Artificial intelligence...people who knew how to make such things couldn't be that common...maybe they floated in the same circles?

It was a long-shot...but it's the only lead he'd had in years...he had to try!

Lin just looked at him baffled, "Why on earth would you want to do this?"

Minato shrugged, "I need to report Wendy to the other Paragons and have her be checked over anyway. Might as well keep her in sight." He rationalized quickly.

Lin frowned...and shook her head. "You know what? No, I'm sorry Minato. I do have faith in your abilities but I just don't feel comfortable having them in the city."

At that moment, her office door opened. "Sorry I'm late." Responded Tenzin. "But things were crazy out their, the whole city just rebuilt itself and-

An idea popped in Minato's head. "Air island! Me and Tenzin will watch them on Air island!" He said quickly. Tenzin looked at Minato confused, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Back me on this man, I'll totally owe you one." Whispered Minato quickly to Tenzin. Tenzin looked at him confused...but shrugged. If Minato felt that strongly about it, he'd help him. They'd been close friends for years, it's not like he'd give him something he couldn't handle after all...

"Um, yes. As Minato just said...we'll do that."

Lin looked like she was about to pop a vein-

Suddenly a cop burst into the room, "Chief! The press and civilians are swarming up to the precinct! Their demanding answers!"

Lin slammed her head on the desk, she didn't have time for this! "You know what?...FINE Just get him out of here before they see him! This'll be enough of a media circus as it is!"

Quickly they hurried them out. "Well, looks you and I are stuck together for awhile." Said Dipper to Wendy. Wendy flustered, "Yeah, looks like it...we should probably have a talk-

"Man! well this is quite the change of pace!" Interrupted Cave suddenly, "Ordinarily we only stay in one place for a couple days...but this looks like it will take awhile...this should be interesting! To the Hinden-Cave!" Shouted Cave as he activated one of his capsules and immediately jumped into the suddenly appearing giant zeppelin-

"Oh man, TAKE COVER!" Shouted Dipper as he shoved Wendy to the ground and covered her-

 **BOOM!**

"OH MY GLOB!" Shouted Lin.

"Chief Lin I'm so sorry!" Shouted a repentant Cave.

"HOW CAN YOU EVEN AFFORD THESE THINGS!?" Demanded Lin

"Is he ALWAYS Like this?" Asked Korra as she watched the five buildings he hit- somehow without even moving the zeppelin anywhere, seriously how is that even possible? -burn.

Dipper sighed, "Unfortunately." He then began to walk to put out fires(both literally and metaphorically).

Wendy just watched the chaos...and smiled. "It's good to have you back Dipper." She said happily.

...Everyone else just looked at her like she was a nut...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


End file.
